你的翻譯大致沒問題，就是用字還可以在緊湊一些。 每個人翻譯有不同風格，我的通常比較白話，儘量接近原文。
Dante Raintree stood with his arms crossed as he watched the woman on the monitor. The image was in black and white, to better show details; color distracted the brain.
但丁站著，雙手抱胸，望著監視器裡的一位女士。 影像是黑白的, 那是為了將細節顯示得更清楚，彩色會分散大腦注意力。
He focused on her hands, watching every move she made, but what struck him most was how uncommonly still she was.
他專注在她的雙手，注視她所做的每一個動作，但最讓他特別注意到的是她極不尋常，一動也不動。
She didn't fidget, or play with her chips, or look around at the other players. She peeked once at her down card, then didn't touch it again, signaling for another hit by tapping a fingernail on the table.
她連一點緊張的小動作也沒有，也不逗弄籌碼，也不張望其他打牌的人。她只窺視一下底牌，就再也不去碰它，叫牌僅用一根指甲尖在桌上輕輕一點。
with his arms crossed 譯成 「兩手交叉」，失去原味。 它是這樣：
![]()
檢視圖片
to better show 的 to 是 so as to，或 in order to，表示用黑白影像 「以便」 或 「為了」 把細節顯示得更清楚。
struck him 不是 「讓他震驚」，賭場裡抓作假的，什麼沒看過，有什麼好震驚？ struck 在這裡是指他 「突然有所發現」， 所以 what struck him most 就是 「最讓他注意到的」。
fidet 在這裡不是 「坐立難安」，是在牌桌上總會有那麼一些緊張的小動作，例如轉戒指或一直敲桌面：
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檢視圖片 ![]()
檢視圖片
除了這些以外，其他都沒什麼問題。
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